First Comber Presbyterian Church
First Comber Presbyterian Church
When I first raised the possibility of running some type of bereavement group with our church Pastoral Care team, it was met with a ‘yes that’s a good idea’, however only three people felt they could realistically support. With encouragement from our minister and another church, we explored The Bereavement Journey® programme.
We are grateful to our local Funeral Director who funded the course for us. We shared details of our annual Memorial Service with him, giving us the opportunity to talk about The Bereavement Journey® to those whom he had invited. We hosted our first course in July 2025. We had eight in the group. Members of the group had suffered bereavement ranging from nine years ago, through to just three weeks.
When we reached week three, some members of the group used the word acceptance. Three people shared how they had been able to do something for the first time since their loved one died:
One person said that since her husband died nine years ago she hadn't been able to sit at the kitchen table to eat her dinner. She shared that suddenly she found herself pulling out a chair to have her dinner at the table. She had never really talked about her grief. However, by the end of the course she was sharing freely and said she felt that coming to the group had really helped her.
Another person said they were able to go out more, attend some events, meet up with friends, this was something they hadn't been able to do for nearly 18 months, and they were also able to open wardrobe doors for the first time since their wife died.
A similar story came from another member of our group who hadn't been able to move her husband’s laptop and printer for three years, but after four weeks she was able to put them away. “Acceptance” was a word she often used.
Being in the group allowed them to safely share with others in a similar position as to how they felt, and there was a tremendous amount of trust with each other.
We met after week seven. I brought a heart shaped balloon, the attendees were given a little tag to put a message or name on to it, then tie it to the balloon string. Outdoors afterwards I held the balloon string, I said a few words encouraging everyone to be kind to themselves. As I let go of the balloon, watching it disappear into the sky, there was a lot of emotion expressed. Everyone loved the idea. It really felt a fitting end!
We are now in the middle of another course. I would encourage anyone thinking of starting this programme to go for it. God will uphold you in this ministry.
Sandra Edgar